It was just another night, with the sunset and the moon rise not so far behind

A transformation has occured. No, I'm not talking about Britney from adorable teenage pop princess to skanky white trashy person, that happened a long time ago. I'm talking about moi. As in me in french. Not that this has anything to do with french. I'm sorry i'm high on this nail nailvarnish from OPI

no I haven't been sniffing it, I tried my hand at a home manicure this morning, and it went pretty well.

Today was basically a day of detox for me. I exfoliated in the shower (oh my god it was painful. like rubbing sandpaper on my limbs.) and died my hair using henna.

I was going to post up pictures but then I realised I don't have a digital camera so just try and imagine a small, 19 year old asian girl with dark dark dark brown hair and painful looking arms. It was the exfoliation, I took it a bit too far.

So I was flicking through all my old ELLEgirl magazines to find some cool eye makeup ideas seeing as it wasn't exactly sunny today (um, it was kind of torrential) and I decided to wear some false eyelashes that I had glued beads to (you can't see the glue, don't worry) and this sheer lipstick from Stila

If you can't tell already, I only wear glamourous clothes, but I guess I started dressing down a little when I was with CIB, but now I'm back with bang and getting back into pencil skirts because it's the last time I'll be able to wear them before summer begins, so I wore my extremely tight kind of lycra-fied american apparel pencil skirt with these incredible socks from Eley Kishimoto (I deserve to splurge, I'm going through a bad break up),a plain white blouse with the cuffs turned up that I tucked into my skirt and a trench coat for the rain. It looks like a proper sherlock holmes coat, but I got it for £15 pounds at Rokit, And lasy but not least, some good old fashioned 5 inch heels from shelley's.

and I got all dressed up to go out to.... Marks and Spencer's to do the weekly shop.

What? I like dressing up.

Plus it's a good start for me, I was almost getting used to wallowing in my own self pity and I want to get on with my life. I'm thinking of getting a new job and training at an art school or something like that. I'll have to raise a lot of money but I'm willing to do so, I haven't got anything else on with my life at the moment.

pops and CIB update: CIB seems to have just vanished off the face of the earth, and good riddance, Pops and I had a good sit down chat last night and talked everything out. She seems really sorry but I still can't believe she would do such a thing. It's going to take a lot from her to get me to forgive her and think of her as a friend again, I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were before. I would type out the conversation but I think it's a bit harsh on her, some things are meant to be kept to yourself.

oh look what you've done, you've made a fool of everyone

How to start a post so full of drama! I know, I'll start by saying that my Phish Food eating record has slowed down to a measly 3 minutes per tub, but I'm practising. believe me, I'm practising...
I think I should do this quick and painful, like ripping off a plaster (you know, I've never actually had that much pain from plasters, maybe it's a british thing?), but on second thoughts, I'm going to drag it out and make it as painful for you as it was for me because that's the only way to make a post out of it!

CIB and I were serious up until a week ago, when we broke up. I would never have even thought that we would break it off so soon, but CIB obviously had other plans.
Everything was going really great (according to me, at least), we would take turns going to each others flats, he would surprise me after a long day of work with some thai buffet, candles and flowers, we took a trip to the lake district together over one weekend! Towards the end of last month, about a week before he broke up with me, he 'got really swamped at work', and Eva (do you remember her! Wow, it's been so long!) and I became close like we were when we were mere 14 year olds, while Pops and I grew apart. She became really irritable around me and she would always scoff when CIB and I ever had any PDA moments while she was around, so I kind of ignored all her negative behaviour while CIB and I were getting serious and Eves and I were going out together.
One night, Eves, Pops and I were supposed to go out for drinks in Camden so Pops and I could do some bonding, but she felt really ill, so it was just Eves and I. About an hour into hour night, my feet absolutely killed, so after a gruelling half hour waiting for/being on the tube to get home, I come home to see Pops lying on the couch. No, she wasn't dead, something much worse.
CIB was on top of her.
And they were kissing.
On the sofa.

Jesus, I really... I'm not really sure how to say this. It's been really hard for me, I mean, Pops was my best friend. And I had no idea that CIB was doing thigns with other girls, let alone my best friend. What kind of boyfriend does that???

This all happened... 10 days, 2 hours and a half ago.
I haven't talked to Pops since. I can't even look at her, we're flatmates so I'm not just doing it for dramatic affect, I really find it hard to wake up at 8 in the morning and walk into your kitchen in your underpants to see your best friend... or whatever she is now standing there in her underpants making tea. It doesn't hit me at first, and then I realise that CIB has probably seen her in her underpants as well, my ex-boyfriend saw her in her underpants while he was still my boyfriend, and she thinks she can just walk around and make tea and read magazines and go to work every day like nothing has happened?? I dont see or hear her apologising to me, which just makes it even worse. I know her, and I know that she does this. She doesn't talk, she hates confrontation, but how can you do that? Just ignore me? I'm the one doing the ignoring, what the fuck is wrong with her??

Basically, I've called sick from work for the next week, so I'll be in the flat at all times, and because of this, I've bought some provisions-

about 3 pairs of these silly overpriced sweatpants from American Apparell (I'm also adding pictures so you can just soak up all that's just been said. Usually I dont do pictures, I've only ever done one post with pictures of clothes, and the rest are all food pictures. Mmm... food)

about 5 tubs of Phish Food ice cream- what else?

pretty much every fashion and gossip magazine I could find at the magazine stall around the corner, because when I'm not crying or eating, I've got to find something to occupy me so I dont cry or... eat

Movies! of course Sainsbury's had some silly '£3 for 4 movies' thing going on, so I bought...
emplyee of the month (I couldn't help myself, it was on sale!)

the baz luhrman romeo and juliet, finally! I've been meaning to buy that for months now

the notebook, of course!

and moulin rouge, but there will be more movie buying to come, I assure you

I also bought some wifebeaters from AA, just because £22 really is a small price to pay for a bit of stringy ribbed fabric to complete my whole slob look

Now, I know myself like.... i cant think of a funny thing to put here so instead I'll just say that I know myself, and for half this week I'm going to be slobbing around crying and being fat, and for the other half I'm going to be trying to get slim and sexy and cleaning up a bit, so I've made a handy dandy shopping list for when that time comes, I thought I'd share it with you...

heels, lots of them. I still have this £100 voucher from shelly's- which is literally opposite the U.O, so that means about a 40 second walk from the flat, so people will only see me in my horrible, stained wifebeater wearing state for around that time until I make it into the shelter of Shelly's... I guess I'll have to avoid Pops though

a new purse! It's summer so I think I might get me one of those see-through baggies, they have some really cute ones in Nine West right now I think

that fake tan cum moisturiser thing

a whole bunch of body shop products, namely- shampoo, conditioner, henna for my hair (I'm going to try dark brown and I want to do it naturally), body wash, a loofa, sun screen, some more lip balm

shorts galore! I really need me some cute denim shorts from miss sixty, and there are some v. v. nice city-ish shorts in the U.O that I can get with my staff discount (yay!)

cute rain mac thing. rain mac is the ugly word for it... I want something waterproof. In jacket form

basically a lot of summer clothes

flip flops

a new pair of jeans (wow, this list is getting bigger than I originally thought)

a hair cut, I'm so bored with this shoulder length straight-ness right now

a manicure and pedicure

and that's it I think!

I'll probably post again tomorrow, maybe a bit later, you know, if I find the time between eating half my body weight in ice cream and crying out half my body weight in tears... oooh, then I'd weigh zero stone! sounds appealing...

Anyway, until then, bye my lovelies!

The weather outside is frightful

Covent Garden must be a freezer in it's spare time or something, it's actually freezing in the flat. I'm really wrapped up in flannel pj's and a hoodie, and of course some slippers that are basically a piece of duvet with crap soles and a tie at the top, only £3 from h&m, and I swear to someone that my toes are turning blue.
I didn't talk about the girls night in on saturday, which is rather forgetful, it was on my list of things to do (mentally).
Pops wasn't there, she said work needed her for overtime (and I hope she's getting paid for it), so Eves and I watched our favourite movie- legally blonde-and read the words out loud along with elle. God, if I wasn't so asian then I'd definately be her. We ate so much ice cream, and we put on a playlist of happy music and danced around the flat. It was really fun. It's a shame Pops wasn't there, I could have called up pretending to be her doctor saying- 'she has boringitis, she can't be around boring work and boring people for more than the regulated hours. now let her come back home and eat ridiculous amounts of crap and watch movies with her best friends. Thankyou very much'.


Due to the crap weather conditions, I've been searching for the perfect jumper. Topshop jumpers are really quite stupid because most of them are 3/4 sleeves or full of holes or really thin, none of them are PRACTICAL.


of course, urban outfitters and it's seemingly endless supply of hoodies had something ridiculously priced on it's website that might not shrink in the wash-

Bird Print Hoody, £35

You can always count on Paul&Joe sister, but that's only if you have bottomless pockets or aren't still kind of in debt.

anyway, got a date with CIB on Sunday, i'm hoping by then I wont have this wretched cold :(

it's 10pm now, so I've got to go to bed, so I'm sorry for the short post, I just feel like such a terrible blogger, neglecting my blog all the time!

Caroline's a victim

Thanks for all your suggestions on gig wear (i just figured out that Kate Nash is playing there!). I decided to go for a casual, girlie look to contrast with everyone else that's there.

I bought this dress from Urban Outfitters:

£24.99 but i got for but i got it for £17.49 (staff discount baby!)
I'm going to wear it with some ribbed tights, a long sleeved t-shirt (underneath) and I'm wearing these earrings from Tatty Devine with it:

Anyway, moving away from clothes, Pops and Evie are in a fight, and they're using me as a pipeline to talk to eachother, because they are stupid. It's quite immature. They are fighting because Pops put a red and white top in ith the whites and now all of Evie's smalls are marshmallow coloured, But I quite like having pink underwear.
That's all for now, wish me good luck for the gig!