It was just another night, with the sunset and the moon rise not so far behind

A transformation has occured. No, I'm not talking about Britney from adorable teenage pop princess to skanky white trashy person, that happened a long time ago. I'm talking about moi. As in me in french. Not that this has anything to do with french. I'm sorry i'm high on this nail nailvarnish from OPI

no I haven't been sniffing it, I tried my hand at a home manicure this morning, and it went pretty well.

Today was basically a day of detox for me. I exfoliated in the shower (oh my god it was painful. like rubbing sandpaper on my limbs.) and died my hair using henna.

I was going to post up pictures but then I realised I don't have a digital camera so just try and imagine a small, 19 year old asian girl with dark dark dark brown hair and painful looking arms. It was the exfoliation, I took it a bit too far.

So I was flicking through all my old ELLEgirl magazines to find some cool eye makeup ideas seeing as it wasn't exactly sunny today (um, it was kind of torrential) and I decided to wear some false eyelashes that I had glued beads to (you can't see the glue, don't worry) and this sheer lipstick from Stila

If you can't tell already, I only wear glamourous clothes, but I guess I started dressing down a little when I was with CIB, but now I'm back with bang and getting back into pencil skirts because it's the last time I'll be able to wear them before summer begins, so I wore my extremely tight kind of lycra-fied american apparel pencil skirt with these incredible socks from Eley Kishimoto (I deserve to splurge, I'm going through a bad break up),a plain white blouse with the cuffs turned up that I tucked into my skirt and a trench coat for the rain. It looks like a proper sherlock holmes coat, but I got it for £15 pounds at Rokit, And lasy but not least, some good old fashioned 5 inch heels from shelley's.

and I got all dressed up to go out to.... Marks and Spencer's to do the weekly shop.

What? I like dressing up.

Plus it's a good start for me, I was almost getting used to wallowing in my own self pity and I want to get on with my life. I'm thinking of getting a new job and training at an art school or something like that. I'll have to raise a lot of money but I'm willing to do so, I haven't got anything else on with my life at the moment.

pops and CIB update: CIB seems to have just vanished off the face of the earth, and good riddance, Pops and I had a good sit down chat last night and talked everything out. She seems really sorry but I still can't believe she would do such a thing. It's going to take a lot from her to get me to forgive her and think of her as a friend again, I don't think we'll ever be as close as we were before. I would type out the conversation but I think it's a bit harsh on her, some things are meant to be kept to yourself.

i think it might take another week for me to become sexy... so for now, a survey I stole

as in, my plan for half the week being slobbish and half the week being productive just isn't working out, so, you know, it will be a while 'till I stop watching legally blonde and stuffing my face with celery (it's a weird comfort food of mine. celery is calming. no? nobody? i'm so lame)

1. What's your middle name?
Eliabeth. Yeah, I know, it's like my parents rtied to deny the fact that we're from vietnam and so gave me a posh english lady's name. tut.

2. Is your cell phone a flip phone?

pssht, no. I live in London, mobile phones are all we have. That being said, I have a really ugly nokia one that, hey! someone's calling me on right now

3. Have you ever been to New Jersey?
i've been to jersey. as in, the island off the coast of france. But no, I've never been to America.

4. What's your favorite soda?
i think you mean fizzy drink, yes? well, i would say... diet coke. I'm a good old fashioned londoner.

5. Do you have satellite?

I've got a box that passes for a t.v and a dvd player that I got bootleg from hong kong. the only channel we have is four. which is ok, because then I get ugly betty.

6. Where did you go to college?

i regret to say that I'm 19 (yes, I had my birthday while I was away living in a fantasy world with cute indie bastard... thankyou ) and I haven't even thought about going to uni. I think the whole premiss that to get far in life you need some crappy diploma is messed up. the whole education system is messed up in the UK though.

7. What's the longest road trip you've been on?

after rehab I went to brighton, blackpool, all the way up to wales and back to london with pops and eve. it was wicked. I must be the only living person who says wicked anymore.

8. Did you go to a private school?

no, I was a state school fuck up. I blame state school for everything.

9. What's your favorite smiley?

i'm in a very bad mood today, let's just not talk about smileys, shall we?

10. Do you buy lottery tickets in hopes of winning?

when I turned 16, in stead of being all 'yay! i can legally have sex with people 16 years old and over now!' I said, 'yay! I can play the lottery!'. For 2 months I bought lottery tickets when I could. Mind you, I was off my face half the time so I didn't really know what I was doing

11. What year were you born in?
 1988. the year of.... my birth

12. Do you like the smell of Sharpies?

what? I dont have a solvent abuse problem. what? go away.
but on a serious note, nail polish, petrol smell and markers are just... mmm delightful smelling

13. What does your screensaver look like?:

eve and I as 14 year old lovers (friends). We are in trafgalgar square sitting on the lions being heckled by policemen. that was a fun time.

14. Do you have an iPod?:

i basically have no money.

15. What's your biggest pet peeve?

oh... i dunno, small things like your best friend making out with your boyfriend.
also people who leave milk out of the fridge. It's just irresponsible.

16. What shoe size do you wear?:

UK 5. US 7.

17. What's your favorite kind of cereal?:
golden nuggets. never heard of them? look them up. buy them. it's like little balls of sugar with fun mazes on the back of the box

18. Do you ever listen to Classical music?

if classical means 'the cure' then yes, lots.

19. What kind of instruments do you play? 

the cure. I'm sorry? you say that isn't an instrument? you obviously haven't lived.

20. Do you like Girl Scout cookies?

we dont have girl scouts in london. sad, but true.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? 

in some dreams, yes.

22. Do you like Hummers?
I'm sorry, I'm not good at cars

24. Are you scared of horses? 

no girl is scared of horses. all girls embrace horses and wish they had them. oh, there's more betty crocker icing left in the fridge. I think I might eat it.

25. Do you like milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
um, white chocolate

26. Do you wear glasses?:

HAH, nerd.

27. Does it annoy you when people misspell things?
i'm dislexik. i'm joking. but I'm not. I am actually dyslexic, but i can spell dyslexic, god. I mainly use spell checker

28. Do you like the beach or the mountains:

beach, by far. nothing beats a windy day on brighton pier with a big bag of fudge and criminal intent. i mean...

29. Have you ever taken cough medicine when you didn't have a cough?:

if I said yes would you report me?

30. Have you ever been to band camp?

no. who goes to band camp?

31. Do you know any guys with a receding hair line?

my father is bald, always has been. i feel bad that his hair line started receding when he was 27.

32. Do you know what Chacos are?

sounds like tacos

34. Have you ever watched Room Raiders on MTV?:

i told you, channel four is all i have

35. What's the best Christmas present you've ever got?
french knickers from george. ginger george. also, this cool jukebox pops and eve got me jointly when I got out fo rehab. ok, so it wasn't christmas but it felt like it.

36. What's your favorite Popsicle flavor?
pops. pops tried to apologise but she burst into tears half way through and ran out of the flat. i suppose it's a start

37. Did your parents give you an allowance?:
um, yeah, but I spent all of it every month on things that i didn't need.

38. Did you ever watch Rugrats when you were little?
no. i watched... I can't remember. something odd.

39. How many myspace groups have you joined?
I'm proud to say that I've never had a myspace or a facebook or a faceparty (yeah, it exists, how strange).

40. What do you think of standardized tests?:

see the university question.

41. What's the craziest thing you have ever done?

teehee. not telling

42. Have you ever cheated on a test?:
of course. I'm british. I went to a state school. I EXPLAINED THIS ALL BEFORE.

43. Is tomorrow your birthday?:

no...

44. Have you ever choked on your own spit? 

people kept answering this question like 'EW, god, who does that?'. well, I have. so now you know.

45. Do you like roller coasters?:
has anyone been on that one in alton towers, the one that goes straight up and down? classic(I really apologise to my american readers, I'm using so much english slang. 'classicbasically means anything from 'fun' to 'cool' You can say, 'it was a classic party' meaning it was a fun party, or 'he was classic', meaning he was funny. so there we have it. if you have any other english slang queries, I'm willing to help)

46. When was the last time you went roller blading?

never..?

47. Have you ever wished you had a twin?:

no. because my parents would have liked him/her more. i.e. even more dropping of self esteem

48. Do you have a caffeine addiction?:
no, I have a ben and jerry's addiction. really. I have to go ALL THE WAY to oxford street just to get a fix. and I do.

49. Do you get claustrophobic easily?:

no. I'm agraphoobic. which is good because our flat is the most cramped thing in the world

50. Would you ever kiss on the first date?:

of course god, everybody has to stop being prudes... or maybe i'll stop being a slut.

oh look what you've done, you've made a fool of everyone

How to start a post so full of drama! I know, I'll start by saying that my Phish Food eating record has slowed down to a measly 3 minutes per tub, but I'm practising. believe me, I'm practising...
I think I should do this quick and painful, like ripping off a plaster (you know, I've never actually had that much pain from plasters, maybe it's a british thing?), but on second thoughts, I'm going to drag it out and make it as painful for you as it was for me because that's the only way to make a post out of it!

CIB and I were serious up until a week ago, when we broke up. I would never have even thought that we would break it off so soon, but CIB obviously had other plans.
Everything was going really great (according to me, at least), we would take turns going to each others flats, he would surprise me after a long day of work with some thai buffet, candles and flowers, we took a trip to the lake district together over one weekend! Towards the end of last month, about a week before he broke up with me, he 'got really swamped at work', and Eva (do you remember her! Wow, it's been so long!) and I became close like we were when we were mere 14 year olds, while Pops and I grew apart. She became really irritable around me and she would always scoff when CIB and I ever had any PDA moments while she was around, so I kind of ignored all her negative behaviour while CIB and I were getting serious and Eves and I were going out together.
One night, Eves, Pops and I were supposed to go out for drinks in Camden so Pops and I could do some bonding, but she felt really ill, so it was just Eves and I. About an hour into hour night, my feet absolutely killed, so after a gruelling half hour waiting for/being on the tube to get home, I come home to see Pops lying on the couch. No, she wasn't dead, something much worse.
CIB was on top of her.
And they were kissing.
On the sofa.

Jesus, I really... I'm not really sure how to say this. It's been really hard for me, I mean, Pops was my best friend. And I had no idea that CIB was doing thigns with other girls, let alone my best friend. What kind of boyfriend does that???

This all happened... 10 days, 2 hours and a half ago.
I haven't talked to Pops since. I can't even look at her, we're flatmates so I'm not just doing it for dramatic affect, I really find it hard to wake up at 8 in the morning and walk into your kitchen in your underpants to see your best friend... or whatever she is now standing there in her underpants making tea. It doesn't hit me at first, and then I realise that CIB has probably seen her in her underpants as well, my ex-boyfriend saw her in her underpants while he was still my boyfriend, and she thinks she can just walk around and make tea and read magazines and go to work every day like nothing has happened?? I dont see or hear her apologising to me, which just makes it even worse. I know her, and I know that she does this. She doesn't talk, she hates confrontation, but how can you do that? Just ignore me? I'm the one doing the ignoring, what the fuck is wrong with her??

Basically, I've called sick from work for the next week, so I'll be in the flat at all times, and because of this, I've bought some provisions-

about 3 pairs of these silly overpriced sweatpants from American Apparell (I'm also adding pictures so you can just soak up all that's just been said. Usually I dont do pictures, I've only ever done one post with pictures of clothes, and the rest are all food pictures. Mmm... food)

about 5 tubs of Phish Food ice cream- what else?

pretty much every fashion and gossip magazine I could find at the magazine stall around the corner, because when I'm not crying or eating, I've got to find something to occupy me so I dont cry or... eat

Movies! of course Sainsbury's had some silly '£3 for 4 movies' thing going on, so I bought...
emplyee of the month (I couldn't help myself, it was on sale!)

the baz luhrman romeo and juliet, finally! I've been meaning to buy that for months now

the notebook, of course!

and moulin rouge, but there will be more movie buying to come, I assure you

I also bought some wifebeaters from AA, just because £22 really is a small price to pay for a bit of stringy ribbed fabric to complete my whole slob look

Now, I know myself like.... i cant think of a funny thing to put here so instead I'll just say that I know myself, and for half this week I'm going to be slobbing around crying and being fat, and for the other half I'm going to be trying to get slim and sexy and cleaning up a bit, so I've made a handy dandy shopping list for when that time comes, I thought I'd share it with you...

heels, lots of them. I still have this £100 voucher from shelly's- which is literally opposite the U.O, so that means about a 40 second walk from the flat, so people will only see me in my horrible, stained wifebeater wearing state for around that time until I make it into the shelter of Shelly's... I guess I'll have to avoid Pops though

a new purse! It's summer so I think I might get me one of those see-through baggies, they have some really cute ones in Nine West right now I think

that fake tan cum moisturiser thing

a whole bunch of body shop products, namely- shampoo, conditioner, henna for my hair (I'm going to try dark brown and I want to do it naturally), body wash, a loofa, sun screen, some more lip balm

shorts galore! I really need me some cute denim shorts from miss sixty, and there are some v. v. nice city-ish shorts in the U.O that I can get with my staff discount (yay!)

cute rain mac thing. rain mac is the ugly word for it... I want something waterproof. In jacket form

basically a lot of summer clothes

flip flops

a new pair of jeans (wow, this list is getting bigger than I originally thought)

a hair cut, I'm so bored with this shoulder length straight-ness right now

a manicure and pedicure

and that's it I think!

I'll probably post again tomorrow, maybe a bit later, you know, if I find the time between eating half my body weight in ice cream and crying out half my body weight in tears... oooh, then I'd weigh zero stone! sounds appealing...

Anyway, until then, bye my lovelies!

if it's a question of timing, I'll wait

yes, Holly is back from the dead and I have a lot of stuff to tell, but don't get excited just yet, I have to comment everybody and update the links, etc.
a brief update- Arty Preppy Guy and I had.... a little thing. It wasn't anything big, it wouldn't even constitute cheating on CIB (I'll get to him later on), but he's moved out to NYC, so no more chances to get married have a host of little cute half asian kids with beautiful eyes and a flair for art.... damn.
CIB- wow, what can I say, really? A LOT, is the answer to that. We broke up, long story short, but of course there's drama, but I'm saving that for the next post, so keep your trousers on and just wait for a day or two!

out of order

It's been such a long time since I've posted, and I sincerely apologise. Me and CIB have gotten all serious, and APG and I are friends although he doesn't know whether or not to go back to chicago.
Anyway, I've been terribly busy, and I don't think I'll be doing any posts for a while.
I'll probably return... I'd say in May or June, so check back when those months come around!
It's been fun and pretty short, but I promise I'll be back
xxx Holly

Lovecats

First I would just like to say thanks to all of you that care so much about my life. So many people have given me advice about CIB and APG, so thankyou for all that.
Me and CIB have only met up once since he asked me to be his girlfriend and it was in valentines day. I don't usually celebrate these days that are just set up by Hallmark to make abitof extra cash, but this is the first time i've had a boyfriend for valentines for too long. He took me to see another indie band and he did say who they were but to tell you the truth I was so busy just staring into his gorgeous eyes that I can't remember anything he said. Except for that he loves me! Yes folks, I really am in love with CIB, and as I haven't seen APG for quite a while i'm just going to think of him as a friend, only a friend and nothing more.
So, what else is new?
Well, I got some gorgeous shoes free from urban outfitters because the heel had broken, but Pops took them into work (she works at Shellys if I haven't mentioned that before) and someone she knows there fixed them, and now they're as good as new. They're not on the website but they are purple patent and extremely high. I love them.
Oh, another exciting thing is that after after just over two weeks i've been able to drop my job at Macdonalds and i'm just working longer hours at the U.O so that's all cool.
cheerio for now, i'll keep you posted on CIB.

ps. for valentines day he bought me a bunch of roses.

I just don't know what to do with myself

I took molly's advice and attempted whipping CIB into shape last night, to save me from writing anything truly horrific in my confused state, I'll just do the roleplay here.

Me- What happened on that date last time?

CIB- Nothing

Me- Listen, if you don't want to go out with me or you want to go out with someone else then just tell me because I could just be wasting my time on you and I could be doing a lot better.

pause

CIB- Will you be my girlfriend?

Me- What?

CIB- You know, like proper

Me- But you don't like me

CIB- what? of course I like you, I just asked you to be my girlfriend

Me- Oh

cue big sloppy kiss.

I'm so confused, I said yes in the end because I seriously like him, but what about APG?? I know some people said that I should go for him and I was contemplating it, almost hoping that CIB would say, 'no sorry, I don't like you whatsoever, please leave and get yourself another guy'. Ok, that was the crappest sentence on the face of the earth.
Anyway, I just don't know what to doooo. ARGH.
Well, obviously I can't do much cos I'm CIB's girlfriend (Oh gosh, I feel so restricted) now, and what the hell will I tell APG? We're going out for drinks tonight. But just as friends. I should tell him that I'm CIB's girlfriend. But then maybe he'd think that I was assuming that he was interested romantically in me, which I do, but maybe he thought he was being subtle and stuff.
bloody hell.
Going out with CIB wednesday night, I think he's taking me to a roller disco, he did buy me some skates. But maybe he's just weird. I'll let you know how things go with APG.

OH MY GOD. it's too serious to think of an inventive title

I have terrible news, well it's not too terrible if you think about it. in fact it's quite good news.
Ok, I have good and bad news. As in good and bad at the same time.
I met someone, his name... We'll call him APG- arty preppy guy. I know it's a strange combination but he wears really cute glasses and shirts from Paul Smith (I'm always falling for the rich ones, and don't even ask me how I know the shirt's Paul Smith. Alright, it had the logo on it.) but he owns an art gallery in chicago, yes, chicago as in chicago in america which is a billion gazillion miles from here but he says he's trying his luck getting his gallerys into London.
Although I'm dating CIB, APG is so nice to me and texted me this morning saying that the sun's out, even though it wasn't, and he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to like really crap indie music and act shifty on dates even though I'm falling for CIB and I'm falling even harder because of this whole 'playing hard to get' thing even though it's probably not intentional and he could go and break my heart any second now whereas APG would probably bury his own cat alive if he made me cry.
That was a very long and confusing sentence but I'm delirious with loving CIB and hating him at the same time and I think that APG is in love with me because I've been seeing him wait outside Urban Outfitters when my shift ends and he always waves at me and then looks like he's about to come over and talk to me but he never did until yesterday.
He even took me out for drinks. Oh god, I feel terrible, does that count as cheating? We didn't kiss or anything but we like, talked.
This is so confusing. I've never dated multiple people, and I don't want to start now, I mean I haven't even turned 19 yet (2 months today people, in case anyone was thinking of buying a chloé dress for me) and I've only ever had one serious relationship.
To drown my sorrows I'm going to do this survey that I copied from www.alarmclockcatastrophe.blogspot.com

1. You have $10 and need to buy snacks at a gas station, what do you get?
Mcoys, but on ly the real ones, except no immitations. Also, diet lucozade, but they don't make that so normal lucozade will do.
2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?
It's a tie between a whale and a mermaid. If I was a mermaid i'd look normal, if i was a whale i wouldn't be eaten by anything. Apart from the Japanese. No offence to the Japanese. I'm Asian too.
3. Who's your favorite Redhead?
My Ex-boyfriend, who I am still on very good terms with. George.
4. What do you order when you're at an IHOP?
What the hell's an IHOP? Is that some kind of excuse for TGI fridays. You don't know how many times I've said 'thank god it's friday' there. seriously. thank god it's friday NOW. I'm not even in a TGI fridays. Oh my god, the deliriousness has kicked in again.
5.Last book you read?
The Devil Wears Prada.
6. Have you made out with anyone on your friends list?
I don't really keep a list of my friends. But if I did I would have made out with all of them. Seriously.
7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear?
French Knickers from Topshop designer lingerie. Not just any lingerie, designer lingerie. I got them for Christmas from George, ahh george.
8. Describe the last time you were injured?
This morning I whacked my hand really hard on our kitchen counter. Not to mention my heart's been breaking ever since CIB didn't call me back.
9. Of all your friends, with whom would you want to be stuck in the middle of a jungle?
Chloé and Francis. It's a tie, they both have black belts in Karate.
10. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
Odd things? Well, It was pretty odd and uncomfortable making when Sarah and Francis started making out at this party we went to. That was very odd.
11. Are there any weird things that turn you on?
The smell of cheesey feet is SOOO sexy. Um, no, not particularily. I feel like I'm pretty normal with the things that excite me. ahem.
12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
A picture of me and Pete Doherty at Glastonbury 2 years ago. I won a free backstage pass with Radio1!!
13. Soda?
Is that even a question?
14. Flavor of pudding?
um, i like many kinds of puddings including ice cream or brownies or cake or WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.
15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
A black t-shirt from Urban Outfitters that has a drawing of Twiggy on it and says 'Twiggy'
16. Prescription medication?
Not that I'm aware of. And seriously, is that actually a question. How am I supposed to tell what you mean by 'prescription medication?'. That could mean, 'What is your favourite prescription medication?' or 'Do you want some prescription medication?'. So as far as I'm concerned, this question doesn't mean anything to me. I take back the answer that I wrote before.
17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Bus, but only if it's the old double deckers that London used to have. The new one's are totally anti-short people. Have you seen how high the step is?
20. What are you listening to right now?
The Cure, as always
21. Most recent movie you've watched in a theater?
I don't go to the theatre because I don't have the time, but the absolute last one was The History Boys
22. If you could invent one thing, what would it be?
An invention machine so I could invent anything I wanted. Clever, yes?
23. Name a teacher you had the hots for?
My violin teacher, he was really fat but I couldn't tell at the time, only because I was kind of chubby too. And when I say chubby I mean bordering on clinically obese. Not really. But really. But not. God damn deliriousness...
24. What's your favorite town?
Funkytown
25. Favorite kind of cake?
Brownie cake, made out of brownies all smooshed together with hersheys chocolate sauce. And you just put your hands in there and then smear it all over your face and lick it off. It's actually a good face mask.
26. What's the first word that comes to mind right now?
Artypreppyguyandcuteindieboy. all one word.
29.What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
Oh, venturing off into capitals now are we? well I'll just have to say I HAD CHICKEN KIEV.
31. What's the last thing you said out loud?
I HAD CHICKEN KIEV.
33. Look to your left, what do you see?
A wall. Beige wall paper. Lovely and peely. And a the cure poster. When i say poster i mean a 1 inch by 1 inch photo so no one would notice it there. I'm at work.
34. Who is the last person who spent $100 on you?
Um, No one. ever.
35. Go into your text message log on your phone ... the last text you received?
From APG saying 'it's sunny'. That was a long time ago.
36. What's the last piece of clothing you bought?
The last time I bought clothes was when I wasn't in debt. So I think it was that orange dress from Urban Outfitters that I wore on my first date with CIB.
37. If you could be alone with anyone right now who would it be?
WHY? The purpose of this survey was to drown my sorrows about wanting two different men. God damn you you stupid thing.
38. What do you look for physically in a partner?
Being APG. I mean CIB. Oh god.
39. What's the saddest thing that's happened to you?
Being chucked (not literally, although that would have increased the sad-factor) out of my house was pretty sad. The letter I got from my parents in rehab saying that I was being chucked out of my house was probably the saddest part. And also the lack of cute people in rehab kind of made my sadness increase.
40. What is your motto in life?
If it's hard, it's not worth doing. no, that's like my anti-motto. If there was such a thing as an anti-motto then that would be it. It's totally my anti-motto. You get the point.

The weather outside is frightful

Covent Garden must be a freezer in it's spare time or something, it's actually freezing in the flat. I'm really wrapped up in flannel pj's and a hoodie, and of course some slippers that are basically a piece of duvet with crap soles and a tie at the top, only £3 from h&m, and I swear to someone that my toes are turning blue.
I didn't talk about the girls night in on saturday, which is rather forgetful, it was on my list of things to do (mentally).
Pops wasn't there, she said work needed her for overtime (and I hope she's getting paid for it), so Eves and I watched our favourite movie- legally blonde-and read the words out loud along with elle. God, if I wasn't so asian then I'd definately be her. We ate so much ice cream, and we put on a playlist of happy music and danced around the flat. It was really fun. It's a shame Pops wasn't there, I could have called up pretending to be her doctor saying- 'she has boringitis, she can't be around boring work and boring people for more than the regulated hours. now let her come back home and eat ridiculous amounts of crap and watch movies with her best friends. Thankyou very much'.


Due to the crap weather conditions, I've been searching for the perfect jumper. Topshop jumpers are really quite stupid because most of them are 3/4 sleeves or full of holes or really thin, none of them are PRACTICAL.


of course, urban outfitters and it's seemingly endless supply of hoodies had something ridiculously priced on it's website that might not shrink in the wash-

Bird Print Hoody, £35

You can always count on Paul&Joe sister, but that's only if you have bottomless pockets or aren't still kind of in debt.

anyway, got a date with CIB on Sunday, i'm hoping by then I wont have this wretched cold :(

it's 10pm now, so I've got to go to bed, so I'm sorry for the short post, I just feel like such a terrible blogger, neglecting my blog all the time!

I would just like to start by saying, i am so sorry for being such a crap blogger and not keeping you guys up to date. It's just the last week or so has been a jumble of working and trying to keep C.I.B interested, you know texting him in my lunch breaks and so on.

Well, I kind of feel that all that texting has been abit of a waste, which I will explain about in a minute. I just want to let you all to know that we are not being chucked out of our apartment! yes yes yes! We all worked as much as possible, cut down on buying stuff and borrowed here and there. We are on our way out of debt.

So, back to C.I.B. Me and him went on a date last night, and at the beginning it felt so good to see him again. We went to another thing at barflyand the music was abit shit but he is gorgeous and it all seemed to be going fine. But at roughly 11 o'clock he got a text and after that he started acting kind of shifty and jumpy. Like, I asked him what he' been doing yesterday (just to, you know, make conversation) and he answered me so quickly, without looking at me once. I can tell that there's something he's not telling me. Of course, like any girl would be, i'm worried he might be cheating on me, but i'm not saying that's definately it. Still i've been messed around by guys so much that I wouldn't be suprised if he was seeing someone else.

Oh god, what am I going to do?

McWelcome!

Sorry I haven't been posting for a bit, you might have heard that we (Pops, eve and I) are under threat of being evicted due to lack of money.
So, I decided to take another job... At McDonalds. I'm doing the night shift there, from 11pm to 3am, so now when I get back from day job (urban outfitters) at 6pm, I have some dinner (frozen peas and whatever's in fridge usually does the trick) and then go straight to bed, wake up at 10:30, run off to mcd's (hair net et al) and when I get back, do some serious facial treatment (you don't know how much the grease can wreak havoc on your skin) and go straight back to bed and wake up at 7:30.
This leaves me absolutely no time for dates with CIB, but I've 'got a cold coming on' so when I'm not at U.O (urban outfitters) then I'll be with CIB, snuggled up on the couch watching movies with Phish Food. I've yet to show him my phish food eating talents, though.
Pops is taking a cleaning job at Shelly's (where she works in the day, so she gets fabulous discounts on shoes, such as these red patent ones I'm wearing now) to help pay for the rent, and Eve can't really do anything more, she works in the Apple Market in Be never too busy to be beautiful and she's up there non-stop doing whatever the senior people want with her.
all in all, we haven't seen eachother in forever and we've planned a big girls night in this Saturday (I know! it's so far away!) and we're stocking up on-
*cosmopolitan mags
*ice cream
*nail polish, face packs, makeup etc
*chick flicks- the notebook, legally blonde, you know the drill
* jim-jams (supplied by me, the wonderful urban outfitters discount girl)
and of course hair products, who could forget that. Pops' mum owns a hair salon so Pops learned how to do hair really well, we get free cuts from her (see, we're very thrifty, I don't know why we don't have enough money for this whole rent thing) and she can style it all pretty, so she'll be doing that, Eve will be doing makeup and I will be doing drinks. I make the best Ice Cream milkshakes.
Sigh, saturday is so far away, and I haven't seen CIB in FORVER. who knows, maybe he's snogging some fit indie girl as I type. let's not think about that.

Oh god, the last couple of days have a been a complete nightmare. It started on friday morning when we got a knock on the door at 8 am. I was the only one in, as Pops and Evie had both just left that minute for some retail therapy.
So, I answered the door and it was our landlord. My first thought was that he had had more complaints about 'sexual noises' coming from our flat. I was just about to tell him quite blatantly that none of us has had a boy back for the last month or so (not strictly true, but whatever) , when he dropped a bombshell. He said that if within a week we don't give him all the rent that's been building up over the past couple of months then we would get evicted.
we are so fucking screwed.
I'm not even kidding. Pops and Evie are already working full time (friday was an exception, Pops had just broken up with her boyfriend she needed shoes) and overtime sometimes, and I'm at my wits end with this stupid job where I get paid hardly over the minimum wage and I'm trying to take night school but I couldn't do it with more than 3 hours of sleep a night so I quit.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
wow, I'm sorry.
I'm just pretty stressed out right now.
we totally don't have the money for this.

Phish Food, not Fish Food

I've come to realise that a lot of people don't actually know what Phish Food ice cream is! (Yes, I spelt it 'Phish PHood' in the last post, but i've realised my errors now)

Some think that it is in fact a tub of fish food, others refuse to accept it's existence.

I'm here to tell you about Phish Phood, and why it's brilliant.

To your left you will see exhibit a) The ice cream.

Below this peice of text you will see exhibit b) The description

(fron the Ben and Jerry's website itself!) 'Chocolate ice cream with marshmellow, caramel swirls and fish shaped chocolate chunks'.

I admit, I need to go on a rant about the brilliance of phish food, and I'm going to fulfill that urge.

I remeber discovering Phish Food 2 years ago, in my alcoholic state. It was summer, I was at Eve's house (we didn't know Pop's back then) and we had just drunk two bottles of pimms without the lemonade, and we felt like having a substantial snack. so we raided her freezer, ate some frozen pees and saw the tub of Phish Food. Clearly neglected, it was a month past it's sell by date and the plastic thing around the top of the tub (I'm making a lot of this up, I was too drunk to remember what exactly happened, but give me some artistic liscence. this is a blog, for christ's sake.), so we took some spoons (two, to be precise) and dug in.

We ate the whole tub in a tree in her back garden (I remember that), and I had such bad brain freeze mixed with drunkness that I fell off into a pile of stinging nettles (I also remembered that. who wouldn't?).

I'll never forget that day. It's now my favourite ice cream, and like I said before, I can eat a whole tub in 2 minutes and 29 seconds exactly. I haven't done it in a while, my time might be slower. I'll have to go out and get some ice cream and a stop watch, I'll update you with the times every once ina while.

On with the show.

You're probably wondering where CIB (cute indie boy, god, has it been that long that you can't even remember?) has gone, well he hasn't gone far, I've got him wrapped around my little finger.

We've even gone out to dinner! Which I take as a good thing. we went to Carluccios and he had the chicken and lemon risotto, I had the mushroom pasta and we shared a bottle of wine. and went out for drinks afterwards. and then he stayed at mine. Don't worry, we didn't get anywhere past 2nd base, and we haven't. It's only been a week. God, I'm not that much of a skank.

I might ot be posting for a while after this, I'm having a bit of a crisis with the flat, we might get evicted if we're not careful. So, yeah.

fill in the blanks

I have been tagged by quite a few people to do this new-fangled explaining yourself in 5 bullet points, etc, so here it goes...

1. I reached my grade 8 piano with all my grades being high distinction

2. I was in rehab last year (SHOCK! HORROR!) for alcoholism, but that's gone away now. (I can't actually believe that I jsut wrote that for loads of people to read!)

3. I can't stand the band 'The Feeling'. I just can't stand them.

4. I can eat a whole tub of phish phood ice cream in 2 minutes and 29 seconds exactly. (that is impressive, admit it)

5. I measure up to be a miniscule 5ft and 4 inches.

Now I would like to tag Flashy Shades and Dusk&Summer (if you haven't already been tagged, that is)!

you might want to pick up that tweenies album

Right.
I went back to the store that sells the Vivienne Westwood shoes, and they had no more in my size. HOW INCREDIBLY ANNOYING.
i just read on www.lipsticklady.blogspot.com that she just purchased some nice vivienne's, but those aren't the same as the ones I wanted.
I'm going back to the shop tomorrow to see if they have them in stock. and sales are about to end so they might be getting rid of them!!!
or lowering the price.
I can't get a picture of them because net-a-porter doesn't seem to have anything Vivienne Westwood (apart from Anglomania), and google images isn't helping either.
I'm so annoyed about this!
anyway, some of you have been asking what the whole business with my parents is about. well, my parents and i aren't really on good terms.
to be honest with you, i got kicked out of my house when school finished, and then to really piss my mum off i went to Hanoi to visit my Grandmother, who my mum hasn't seen in years.
i didn't do it purposfully, i only found out that my mum and my grandma weren't close until after i got there.
anyway, i came back to London and i was reunited with my two best friends, pops (polly) and evie/eves (eva), and we moved in together in covent garden and i don't really know what I'm doing with my life.
apart from this blog.
My parents called me and told me they had some tapes from when i was a kid if i wanted them back. yeah, i could do with that thunderbirds tape.

date at the fly was, i'm happy to say, a success.

cute indie boy looked especially cute wearing kind-of-skinny cords, a Strokes T and his sexy glasses.

Kate Nash turned out to be a bit shit, she was DJ-ing and is just too indie for her own good, and there were some other DJ sets, but nobody danced so we just went back to my place and i wowed him with the skills i picked up at bartending school. (It's true! last summer i did a bartending course on my gap year that lead me to no university, and i can make whatever cocktail you please)

i made myself a mojito and i got him a beer, thankfully eves and pops made up and went out to the pub together which gave me some alone time with cute indie boy.

we started talking, and it turns out he works for a record company called 'fierce panda'! cool, eh?

he says he mainly scouts for new bands and then he does paperwork, but it sounds WAY better than my bum of a job.

anyway he left at around midnight, and i've got myself another date on wednesday!

in other news, i'vr finally saved up enough money to buy myself some vivenne westwood shoes that are actually on sale (more money for me to spend on useless crap!), so that's quite exciting. i'll wear them on my date with C.I.B (cute indie boy), maybe i'll be less than a foot shorter than him this time.

or is it more than a foot shorter? i don't know, i didn't go to uni.

what else has been going on this weekend...

ooh, call from the rents (parents)- they say that there's a bunch of CD's back at the house that i should pick up, it's the first time they've contacted me in a year. should i feel happy? i don't.

Caroline's a victim

Thanks for all your suggestions on gig wear (i just figured out that Kate Nash is playing there!). I decided to go for a casual, girlie look to contrast with everyone else that's there.

I bought this dress from Urban Outfitters:

£24.99 but i got for but i got it for £17.49 (staff discount baby!)
I'm going to wear it with some ribbed tights, a long sleeved t-shirt (underneath) and I'm wearing these earrings from Tatty Devine with it:

Anyway, moving away from clothes, Pops and Evie are in a fight, and they're using me as a pipeline to talk to eachother, because they are stupid. It's quite immature. They are fighting because Pops put a red and white top in ith the whites and now all of Evie's smalls are marshmallow coloured, But I quite like having pink underwear.
That's all for now, wish me good luck for the gig!

Cute Indie boy to the rescue!

So, I got back form work about half an hour ago. I usually stay until around 5.30 but today because of the wind etc. I had to stay longer. The wind is ridiculous, my friend told me that a tree has blown down in Highgate and squashed three cars! It's scary!
Anyway, I worked the shop floor today, which was an interesting experience. Actually, that's a lie. It was pretty boring, apart from one thing; I've got myself a date! A cute indie guy came into the shop and started chatting me up almost immediately, he was so cute. He's taller than me (well that's not exactly hard, i'm tiny) and I can just tell that he has a really good body. He was also very flirty, which I think is always a good thing. So he's asked me to go to Barfly with him on Saturday night. Some band's plaingthere apparently. Oh god, what am i going to wear? Any suggestions?
Yeah, so me and poloshirt guy are definately 100% over. He called me today and tried to make me feel like I had ruined our whole 'relationship' (his words not mine). Well, I wasn't having it. I told him to piss off and put the phone down on him. And you know what? I don't feel guilty at all.

just a quick news flash, folks

oh my god! i don't know how many of you guys live in london, but right now it's almost gail force winds!
i have to do this quickly because i'm supposed to be emailing our manager on the company computer, but i have to stay on a longer shift today because i live just around the corner from here and some of our staff will have- 'dangerous journeys home' because of all of the trees falling down!
i might even be working the shop floor... which would be interesting!

take your abercrombie shirt and GO

polo shirt guy came round the flat this morning with a bunch of roses.
he keeps calling me sugar. do i look like a packet of sugar? Or maybe he's forgotten my name. it's Holly. say it with me now. HOLL-Y. that's a good boy.
I was kind of speetchless for a while, seeing as, a) I was wearing just a towel and hadn't put any makeup on, and b) polo shirt guy did tell me on our first date that he wasn't a very romantic bloke. I ushered him in quickly and tried to shut him up because pops and evie are always listening.
always.
He's got such a deep voice anyway that they would be put to sleep by it the second they heard him.
he asked if i was free, and i saw him trying to fit the roses into a starbucks mug (he's not the brightest spark...), but i told him I had to work and he tried to kiss me, but i pushed him away and told him to piss off, which wasn't too good a move.
I suppose it isn't bad. Dating a fittie with a nice back and a good set of hands, but I really need to work. I already called sick the week before because of mr polo shirt guy, and he wouldn't make me do it again.

work= urban outfitters in covent garden. just a 30 second walk from where I live. It's not all bad, i sit around in the stock room labeling stuff, i get to pick the music sometimes (it always ends up being the cure) and the best part is when we get little kids trying to steal stuff. i get to talk to them about how bad they've been and i usually add in some crap about getting a criminal record just to scare them, etc. it's all in good fun. ehem.

my day was pretty shit, to say the least. oh, and after what i said to polo shirt guy he's gone off in a huff and i think it's just going to be a pub crawl with pops and eve tonight. damn. i haven't been to a party in a while.